What I’m Writing: Not the End


What happened this week, huh?

A sort of impressive wordcount and NOT writing The End on a manuscript I hoped to be able to put to one side. It seems the characters have more to say and more things to do so I’m still chipping away at it. With this week being Freshers’ week and a speech to a room full of freshers looming (I’ll probably be doing that while you’re reading this post, in fact!) it’s been heavy on the emotions.

So, what’s wrong with that?

Not finishing the story has given me a bit of the blues. I know that finishing it would have done the same. There’s always a moment of ambivalence when writing those last few words.

And the other thing I was doing? Not going well. I ended up dividing the manuscript into minute pieces and now I’m trying to fit them back together again coherently. It should be like doing a jigsaw where everything fits in nicely. Only this is the kind of jigsaw where you have to get your scissors out and cut some of the pieces into different shapes. I’m OK with that, though. Chopping it about a bit is what I expected. What I didn’t expect was that it looks like I’ve thrown the box of pieces on the floor and then stamped on them until I don’t even know which ones are the edges. It’s taking a lot of manipulation to get it back to where it was and the thought of opening Scrivener is making me sad.

OK, I’ll stop with the negativity now. It wasn’t all bad:

I’ve accidentally written some romance in to the WIP, which was nice because I was breaking over the amount of work I’ve had to do with the other novel. It’s quite a cute little scene actually:

‘Hey.’ It was Will.
I gulped.
‘Would it be weird if I was outside your house?’ He asked.
‘Why would you be outside my house?’ I realised that I secretly hoped he was. I pulled the receiver as far as it would go and peered around the curtains in the living room.
‘Would it be strange?’
‘Then I’m strange.’
It took me a second…
I ran to the front door and threw it open.
‘Yes, you’re strange.’ I said and he smiled at me and drew his hand through his hair. ‘Come in’

It’s not perfect, but it was enough to soothe my soul through the literal heartbreak of the rest of this manuscript.

I didn’t think I would be able to get it done before NaNoWriMo and there’s not that much left to do. I’ve had a few ideas for other novels too, so things are well on their way to being ready for November. I got to review a great pre-release and the linky was awesome last week.

I kept writing and exceeded my expectations for the wordcount goal and even though the other “novel” is in a very sorry state at the moment, it’s progress. It can only get better from here on in – this is the most depressing and hardest part.

I hope. x

Written for What I’m Writing

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29 thoughts on “What I’m Writing: Not the End

  1. I can imagine how impossible it must feel when you’re deconstructing a manuscript but I think it will be worth it once you’ve got over the initial negativity its bound to bring. And it doesn’t sound like its distracting you form other inspiration either. I hope the fresher’s speech went well 🙂

    1. Thank you. They did. We got some laughs! Also, thank you for the positivity. It was my favourite first draft but there was so so much wrong with it. I’m hoping I can give it what it deserves. X

  2. Lovely lady you are *far* too hard on yourself! The scene is fab, give yourself the credit you deserve. Chopping up the manuscript reminds me of the ‘Naked Lunch’ xx #whatimwriting

  3. I think when you have it in your head that you are finished and then you realise that you aren’t, it can be disheartening. What it means though, is that when you have finished de-constructing and putting all back together again, you know you will have something much better than what you did before.

  4. I love your jigsaw analogy! I just know I’ll feel the same when i get to the editing stage of this book. It sounds tough but as they say: ‘it’s all part of the process’. Sounds like you’ve made massive progress this week what with the wordcount and the unexpected romantic scene and even the editing! Don’t lose heart. I’m sure you’re impressing lots of freshers as I type this. #WhatImwriting

  5. I really enjoyed that snippet of dialogue. It felt really quirky and fun. You must have so many manuscripts finished by now…. I know you tend to keep it to first draft, but are you going to pull any out again and begin on a subsequent draft? You’re so busy writing, I can’t keep up with you lass! :o) X

    1. Thank you. I think it was ten last count. Maybe eight with a couple stuck in the ether. Have one in second draft and one completely torn to pieces (hence the woe is me). I’d like to get something published but that’s a confidence thing. So many ideas! X

    1. Thank you! So glad it’s being enjoyed. The rest of the work is quite hard to read so this little scene lightens it all up a bit. I need a better jigsaw! X

  6. I like that scene, nice succinct dialogue! I think writing a novel is like running a marathon which feels like it’s going on forever. Sometimes you have to dig really deep to get to the next accomplishment and just when you think you’re nearly there, you realise you’re not! I identify with the jigsaw puzzle analogy. I do chopping and swapping about too and then all my continuity goes! I also think a novel rarely feels properly finished – it’s hard to actually decide you’ve done what you can and stop tinkering with it. Well done on the word count!

    1. Thank you. Oh, chopping and swapping – I like that. That’s definitely what’s going on here. I’ve moved a whole section to earlier on so now things that shouldn’t happen have already happened. It’s opened up opportunities to dig deeper into the characters though and add tension. Just need to get over the achey feeling I get seeing it ripped up and inconsistent like it is now. X

  7. Aww, Seriously, the LOVE this week! Thank you. I’m already feeling like even though it’s not looking great, it’s the right thing to do, which is a step up from “WHAT HAVE I DONE?! WHY DID I WRITE THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE?”

  8. Love the bit of dialogue you posted. 🙂
    I am amazed at how many projects you are working on, no wonder it can be a bit overwhelming at times. I hope next week will be a positive one for you. xx

    1. Thank you. It’s been great to receive such positive feedback about a scene I almost didn’t let creep in. I’m already feeling much more positive about the whole thing x

  9. Sounds like you’re juggling loads – and actually pretty successfully too! Frustrating not to have got to that all important end point, but much more essential to be listening to your characters and giving them the time they need to do what they’ll do. And that snippet of dialogue is fab. Good luck with the jigsaw – it’ll get there!!! xx

  10. Thank you! I thought the end would come tonight, but I’m far too tired and disinhibited to be writing that character. She needs a more tidy mind than the huge scribble I have at the moment. I’ll be keeping the dialogue in then. Decision made! x

  11. Love your analogy 🙂 I can’t really imagine having written something long enough that I could chop it into pieces and put it back together again! I always love your dialogue, it is so natural and ‘right’; glad you’re keeping that piece. Good luck with the jigsaw…

    1. Thank you! I’ve had to take a break for the first few days this week. I think I might have pushed a little too hard last week. You really should give it a go. I didn’t used to write long pieces and my first two barely touch 50k and took me years. My first nano finished at 87k. You never know what you can do until you try. I think there’s a book in there x

    1. Thank you, Morgan. It means a lot that the response has been so encouraging. NaNo will happen regardless of whether I’m ready or not. The words will come x

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