Procrastination: Apple pie

I don’t do cooking but I’m procrastinating hard at the moment. With November not far away and two unfinished first drafts waiting for me, I’m doing everything I can to avoid it.

So I’ve learned to “bake”. Sort of.

Here’s a vague recipe if you too want to make a mess of your kitchen.

Some apples. 5 maybe?
50 grams of sugar (the only thing measured and only because I asked the partner for some sugar).
Sultanas – around 50, if you have to count?
Aunt Bessie’s shortcrust pastry mix.

  1. Core and peel apples. Cut them into slices
  2. Put them in a pan, pour on boiled water from the kettle. Put it on the highest heat setting to get it going. Or don’t. It all depends on how your job works.
  3. Preheat oven to around 200ā„ƒ I cook everything at 200ā„ƒ. It’s a nice number.
  4. Get a bowl and a small child (optional). Dump all of the pastry mix in the bowl and get small child to help you spill inaccurate amounts of water on the floor into the bowl.
  5. Mix pastry mix.
  6. Add more water to pastry mix.
  7. Shoo cat away moments before he gets his tongue in the mix.
  8. Stir apples and empty out some of the excess water.
  9. Shoo away cat.
  10. Pastry should now be a blob of doughy stuff. This is good. Get small child (more than one if you have them) to roll out pastry and fight over which rolling pin they want.
  11. Line casserole dish with pastry.
  12. Check apples are stewed. They should be very mushy. Pour out excess water. Stir in sultanas. Add to casserole dish.
  13. Cut other half of rolled out pastry on the top as a lid. Cut away excess pastry. Get partner to make amusing shapes out of left over dough.
  14. Brush with milk and put it in the oven.
  15. Cook until golden brown (probably between 30 and 45 minutes)
  16. Serve.


2 thoughts on “Procrastination: Apple pie

    1. Thank you. The cat is a bit of a theme as he seems to enjoy baking too. Little wotnot. It was delicious (the apple pie, I mean) xx

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