What I’m writing – Difficult deeds

Weirdly enough in this, the Year of Saying Yes to Stupid Shit, I’ve also ended up doing a lot of hard shit.

Turns out stupid shit is quite hard.

At the weekend, I made a submission of two poems to a poetry competition. The last time I submitted anything was to the Mslexia novel competition in 2013. I spent £50 and got nowhere. I was so disheartened, I secretly vowed I would never do it again.

This time I don’t expect anything from the submission – the act of submitting was its own reward. I was (and still am) so proud of myself for actually pulling my head out of my own arse and laying myself out there a bit. I’m ready for a bit of attention – more positive than negative – and I have (somehow; I’m REALLY fucking lucky) acquired a bunch of REALLY lovely and supportive people. These are people who sometimes look at me and go “Well, you’re bloody stupid, but you’re doing it, so I’m here for you.” which is more than I could ever have asked for.

Who would have thought a girl like me who barely scraped through college intact would be doing all the incredible (but extremely emotionally and physically draining) things she’s doing now?

When I look back at the year as a whole, as I did after yet another encouraging and extremely raw and honest message from a friend, I realise that actually, I’ve done some massive things this year. Not only did I change my life and that of my family by landing a new job, I’ve created friendships in the most unlikely of places and now started submitting again.

There’s something here that says I probably shouldn’t be attempting NaNoWriMo on top of all the shit I already have, and that something is probably right. However, there seems to be a few people in my real life trying it for the first time that I would feel extremely left out if I didn’t at least give it a bash.

Difficult deed? Jump in.

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18 thoughts on “What I’m writing – Difficult deeds

  1. Jump in – definitely! It sounds like it’s been a big year for you and I think ‘big years’ can often act as a catalyst for doing other stuff. It can sometimes feel like you’re taking on too much but if it feels right then do it. Fingers crossed for the poetry x

    1. Well, they still haven’t emailed me to say I’ve won…
      I’m still struggling to find time for the blog though in amongst the other stupid shit I’m doing. Soon, soon. X

  2. Well done for submitting again. I hope you get the response you want back, but even if you don’t, you’ve got to just keep doing it. Do it lots and let them go. I’d be interested to hear how you get on with NaNoWriMo.

  3. Well done on those submissions, you’re right to give yourself a big pat on the back for that – it takes guts! And that remains true regardless of what the judges think. It’s been a massive year for you – you’ve been coping with so much but look how much you’ve achieved! Good luck with NaNo – I can’t imagine a year when you wouldn’t do it, it would be like bears shitting on the loo or something (I forget the phrase but it’s something like that, right?) Glad to have you back in the writing groove. xx

    1. Haha, are you saying I’m a bear or that I shit in the woods?
      It would have been odd not doing nano this year, I think. I would have been even more odd if I had done nano without swearing. Next year’s challenge, maybe?

  4. Well done on submitting the poems – that’s the main thing, to keep on writing and sending things ‘out there’. Keep on doing both of these things enough, and something will ‘stick’. And I hope NaNo goes well for you. 🙂

    1. Thank you. I certainly hope so, although if I could have a couple more hours in the day at the moment, that would be awesome (or the cliché of another me.) One of my work buddies is also a writing pal now and he won’t let me NOT keep at it (he’s persuasive in the good way). Plus I can’t let him beat me mwahahaha.

  5. well done on submitting! It is a massive effort just to get the manuscript ready, edited, polished, and ready to go. And sometimes like you say you just have to jump in! #WhatImWriting

    1. Exactly. Both feet on. You’ll either drown or swim. And drowing is actually harder than staying afloat, apparently. Manuscripts are nowhere near ready, short poems took a good few hours to polish until they were slightly more shiny turds (add glitter). Thank you for the encouragement!

  6. Go for it! It probably doesn’t feel like it to you but writing this post alone is the start of something really positive. Good luck with the comps and Nano – you’ve got to be in it to win it! X

    1. Oh completely. I wish I could devote more of myself to writing but there just isn’t enough right now. It’ll change, I’m sure. X

  7. I am a big believer in jumping in where difficult deeds are concerned. I remember coming across Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote ‘Do one thing every day that scares you’ when I was at uni, and it’s been my motto ever since. It is, after all, the difficult and scary things that help us grow. It sounds like you’ve had a year of tremendous growth – and it’s not over yet!! Hope NaNo’s going well xx

    1. thank you! This year has been pretty huge in terms of personal growth and development. Still not claiming to be a grownup yet, but I’m doing quite a lot of adulting. Nano went “oh, this is fun.. nope, not so much fun now… OMG I HATE EVERYTHING. How can I still have fifty words left to go, didn’t I add enough rambling? DONE!” and now I’m farting about again waiting for the next life changing event (which might not be that far away, scarily.) x

    1. Indeed. Stupid shit is the best. How did yours go in the end? I was so relieved to finish the other night I haven’t checked anyone else haha. X

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